Don Deane

Back in November, we told you about an elderly woman who accidentally went for a joyride in a swimming pool. Well, it’s happened again, this time in Washington state. What are the odds? If you’re a spectacularly terrible driver, pretty good actually.

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On Sunday, a young man seemingly drew inspiration from the mischievous McDonaldLand character Hamburglar and stole a $20 bag of food from a McDonald’s drive-thru in Maine. It’s unclear whether he shouted “Robble robble!” while escaping.

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In one of the most poignant ways of honoring a fallen comrade we’ve ever seen, former Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell recently went to a Newtown, CT, pub and offered to pay the owner enough money to buy a random person a pint of Guinness every hour for the entire day.

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Any bride-to-be looking for high drama at her wedding may want to consider this record-breaking wedding dress featuring a train that’s a staggering 1.85 miles long. But there’s just one foreseeable problem — you’d need a gazillion attendants to heft it down the aisle.

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As further proof that teachers don’t get paid nearly enough, a heroic elementary school teacher recently rescued a toddler from a SUV that had caught fire in the pickup lane at Cameron Ranch Elementary School in Carmichael, CA.

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You’ll need no more evidence than the videos below to prove that the world is full of people who can’t drive. We’ve gathered 10 examples of cars crashing into stores, homes and even a swimming pool. Convenience stores and gas stations, in particular, seem to bear the brunt of bad drivers. So, definitely keep your eyes peeled next time you pick up a slushie or top off your tank. (Note: Some footage may be too intense for some viewers.)

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At one point or another, we’ve all fallen victim to the theft of food from an office fridge. In general, most of us chalk it up as a minor annoyance. But police in Deer Park, Texas were so fed up with an office thief that they ran a sting to catch him in the act. And, it turns out, the culprit was a cop.

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In an important moment for gay equality, two Alaskan women became the first-ever same sex couple to be married at the Empire State Building this week. Sadly, our Valentine’s Day didn’t even come close in terms of sheer momentousness.

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On Wednesday in Minnesota, Mitt Romney found himself on the receiving end of a glitter bomb. But this wasn’t, as he later tried to spin it, a form of celebration for his recent Florida primary win.

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While it’s unclear exactly how much social media giant Facebook is worth — some have placed the value of the company between $75 – $100 billion — founder Mark Zuckerberg stands to become very, very rich now that the company filed for IPO on Wednesday. And on Thursday, the site went down for the first time in a while.

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