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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge Rips Into Utica

UTICA, NY - MAY 14: A clock stands in downtown Utica on May 14, 2012 in Utica, New York. Like many upstate New York communities, Utica is struggling to make the transition from a former manufacturing hub. The city's individual poverty rate is twice the national average with an unemployment rate of 9.8% as of February 2012. Citing Utica's weakening financial margins over the past two years, Fitch Ratings downgraded its credit rating on Utica by two notches to a triple-B, two rungs above junk territory. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)
Spencer Platt, Getty Images

For some reason, the author and/or contributors to The Onion Book of Known Knowledge don’t think very much of Utica.

The book is laid out like an encyclopedia with several matchings for each letter of the alphabet.

‘U’, for example has words like urn, underpants…and Utica.

It goes on to describe Utica as a bleak and depressing city in Central New York with more than 2,000 locations to kill oneself. It goes on to outline several ways that someone was take their own life as a way to escape the areas desolate winters and poor economy. It includes specific suggestions, like: jumping off the gold dome bank, and other locations specific to the city, including the Stanley.

Seriously? Is it that bad here?

WIBX doesn’t think so and we’d like to tell us all the things you like or love about Utica and the Mohawk Valley. Email us at, call WIBX First News with Keeler in the Morning (315)-736-0186, weekdays from 6 – 9 a.m., or comment below via Facebook

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