Menopause and Depression: It’s Not a Choice

Menopause is like that party guest everyone expects — hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings. You stock up on fans and ice cream. But then… out of nowhere, depression shows up unannounced, grabs the mic, and steals the spotlight. And nobody told you this guy was crashing the party.

I’m usually an upbeat, happy person. So when this sneaky sadness hit me the first time, I was like, “Okay, weird week, whatever.” But then it stuck around for a month. I tried to reason with it — “Hey, can you please leave? I have things to do!”

Spoiler: depression doesn’t care about your to-do list.

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It's Not Just a Funk

Turns out, those shifting hormones during menopause don’t just mess with your temperature regulation; they mess with your brain chemicals too.

We talk endlessly about the hot flashes and sleepless nights — and we make jokes about “menopause brain” — but no one talks about the deep, sneaky sadness lurking beneath.

It’s like the unspoken side effect we’re all supposed to handle quietly… with a smile.

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Shoving Under the Rug

The worst part? So many women are going through it silently. Brushing it off. Shoving it under the rug. Because society doesn’t make space for women to say, “I feel off. I feel sad. I feel not okay.”

It’s not about choosing to feel that way either. It’s about something inside that needs understanding and care, just like a physical illness.

It’s hard to explain unless you’ve been there, but knowing it’s not a choice can help those around you be more patient and supportive.

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Start Talking & Stop Hiding

That’s why I’m talking about it. Because maybe if more of us do, fewer women will feel ashamed or confused when it happens to them.

Let’s stop pretending this part doesn’t exist. Let’s say the quiet parts out loud. Because when we do, we give others permission to stop hiding too.

To anyone else dealing with this silent guest, remember: you’re not broken, you’re not alone, and you definitely don’t have to fake a smile through it.