What does the average person know about "Rowdy" Roddy Piper? He was the wrestling villain who wore kilts. He had a memorable role in the John Carpenter cult classic They Live. What the average person probably does not know, is that he recorded a single in 1992 called "I'm Your Man."

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Look, I'm a big wrestling fan, and somehow this gem escaped even me. I had never heard of this before.

"I'm Your Man" was a UK exclusive release back in 1992. Piper even filmed a music video for it, which you'll find at the end of this article.

I don't know who the audience is for this exactly. Let's unpack some of these lyrics:

I've been watching you all night
Cause everything about you is alright
The way you look
The way you move
The things you say
The things you do
Oh baby I’ve been looking for you all my life
And if you're looking for someone that'll treat you right
And never cheat on you
And never tell you lies
Honey if that’s your plan
I'm Your Man
And if you want somebody gonna love you best until forever baby then forget the rest
Cause honey only one man can I'm Your Man

Weird creative choice, right? I mean, the song isn't even about being a tough guy, or beating you at Madison Square Garden this Saturday night. There's zero mention of chewing bubblegum and kicking ass. It's just sort of a generic... love song? For lack of a better term? Again... who is the audience for this? All the '90s teenaged girls who just love Roddy Piper? I don't think that subsection of admirers exists.

If that wasn't enough, "I'm Your Man" also had a B-side called "Judy Come Back." It isn't any better.

Well, enough talking. Without further ado, please enjoy nearly 3 minutes of pure auditory heaven:

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