Worst Month Ever! What Every New Yorker Really Thinks About March
Hold our snow boots and cough medicine Mother Nature... here's what we really think.
Welcome to it. If you've never been in New York for the awful month of March, this is what we've all been dealing with our whole life. Even though the weather gods surely won't be reading this rant, we are gonna give it to you anyways.
Because we all have something to say.
The Most Hated Month
If you were to ask anybody what their favorite month out of the year was, I bet none of them would raise their hand for March. For those who do... it's either their birthday or they just love getting hammered on St. Patrick's Day. But can you blame them?
Besides being a holiday we associate with drinking, everybody loves going crazy on St. Patrick's Day. The majority of people aren't even Irish, they just want a reason to party during a miserable month. But hey, it's the only way to stay warm during the most bi-polar time of the year.
Pick a Lane... and Stay in It
We either want it to be Spring, or for it to just be a snowy Winter. JUST CHOOSE ONE!
One week all the snow will melt and everyone is swarmed by allergies. Sneezing, coughing, wheezing... the whole enchilada. Whatever is kicked up from the snow melting messes with everyone's head, making us even more groggy than we usually are.
But because March is SO lovely and wants to fix the problem it created, we get hit by ONE or even TWO massive snow storms. GREAT! Now we all have to go dig out our cars, homes, and even a spot for Fido to relieve himself. Just when we thought we were looking towards an early Spring, we're re-breaking out the gloves and shovels.
Then to make it worse, that quick drop in temperature brings even more health problems. Instead of allergies, everyone starts catching the flu and going to work with a high fever. Which then gets everyone else sick, wishing we could just lock ourselves in our own Jake Gyllenhaal bubble.
Don't even get me started with people who suffer from migraines. This is the WORST for them!
Hitting Us While We're Down
You think the weather is bad, what about time! We lose precious sleep every year thanks to Daylight Saving Time. Even our economy takes a hit, losing $434 million on this "important event".
Why can't we be like Arizona? Most things there seem to be working by abstaining from Daylight Saving. Well besides their football team. That still needs some work.
Even the Oscars are in March... THE OSCARS! The only time we cared about them was when Will Smith flew over the cuckoo's nest and slapped Chris Rock harder than my mom hit me with a wooden spoon.
This is where I'll rest my case and step down from my so called podium. If you agree with me, great! If you don't and think I'm just complaining... thank you for reading this far.