Why “Happy Memorial Day” Doesn’t Sit Right With Some Veterans

People mean well. Nobody is trying to offend anyone when they greet friends and family this weekend with a cheerful “Happy Memorial Day.” Still, for many veterans and Gold Star families, the phrase can feel a little off because Memorial Day was never intended to be a celebration.

Veterans Day honors everyone who served in the military. Independence Day celebrates the nation itself. Memorial Day is different. The holiday is set aside to remember the men and women who died while serving the country, making it one of the more solemn days on the American calendar.

That’s why most Memorial Day parades avoid upbeat music or overly festive atmospheres. The focus has traditionally been on remembrance and respect.

At the same time, nobody is saying Americans shouldn’t enjoy the long weekend. Cookouts, family gatherings and the unofficial start of summer have become part of Memorial Day tradition too. Veterans groups across the country simply hope people also take a moment to reflect on the real meaning behind the holiday.

One tradition many some people might still not know about is the National Moment of Remembrance. Congress established it in 2000, encouraging Americans to pause for one minute at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day to honor fallen service members. Across the country, baseball games, community events and even transportation systems have participated in the moment of silence over the years.

The roots of Memorial Day go back to the years following the Civil War, America’s deadliest conflict. The holiday was originally known as “Decoration Day” because communities decorated the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers and flags.

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One of the earliest organized observances happened in Waterloo, New York in 1866. Businesses closed and residents gathered together to honor soldiers killed in the Civil War. The village would later be officially recognized by Congress and President Lyndon Johnson as the birthplace of Memorial Day.

Two years later, General John A. Logan called for a nationwide observance on May 30, asking Americans to decorate the graves of the war dead. Over time, the tradition evolved into the Memorial Day Americans observe today.

Another lasting symbol of the holiday is the red poppy. The flower became linked to remembrance after the famous World War I poem “In Flanders Fields,” which described poppies growing near the graves of fallen soldiers in Europe.

Some veterans have openly talked about how Memorial Day’s meaning can sometimes get lost amid sales, travel and backyard parties.

Army veteran Jennie Haskamp wrote in a Washington Post opinion piece that she disliked hearing the phrase “Happy Memorial Day” because the day should focus on those who never came home.

“It’s not Veterans Day,” she wrote. “Don’t thank me for my service. Pay homage to the men and women who died while wearing the cloth of this nation.”

Even concerns about Memorial Day becoming too commercialized are not new. Historians say complaints about the holiday losing its original meaning date back more than a century.

This weekend, most of us will spend time with family and friends - despite the wet weather - and there’s nothing wrong with that. But somewhere between the cookouts, parades and travel plans, it might be worth carving out a quiet moment to remember the people who gave their lives so the rest of us could enjoy the freedoms we often take for granted.